• Married to a bully
    What it was like being Mike Rinder’s wife
    The story of an abusive relationship

    Cathy Rinder

    Like countless abused women, I stayed way too long with my now ex-husband. In fact, it was 35 years. You’ve heard similar stories before. I thought he would change. I worried about my kids. I believed in the institution of marriage.

    But my husband, Mike Rinder, was a chronically abusive husband and pathological liar. I should have seen it coming, but like other abused wives I looked the other way. I was naive and blamed myself.

    Stupid me. Mike Rinder was nothing but an abusive husband. His abuse built to where one day he ripped my shoulder out of its socket and tore my arm, causing permanent damage and requiring surgery.

    There were the little things along the way, things I should have seen as warning signs. Like when I was walking down a hallway and tripped. Mike was sitting nearby swinging his legs and started laughing loudly, snickering with a friend and pointing at me. I was on the floor. He didn’t move to help his own wife get up from the floor. He even made a big deal out of it by laughing and pointing, even though it was embarrassing enough.

    Then there was the time I got a new job and instead of congratulating me or wishing me good luck, Mike laughed about it, saying, “Oh, right…” It was a put- down, like I would never make it.

    Or when I had failed a work assignment, and instead of assisting me or being supportive, Mike treated me in a demeaning fashion. He acted like a jerk, with an added giggle and smirk.